Marriage

Weekend Whereabouts

by KT on January 21, 2013

I had a really low key, but fun & productive weekend.  Friday night I headed over after work  to a local mexican restaurant to celebrate one of my friend’s second pregnancies.  Rachel  & Michelle organized a small group of Charlotte girls for a diapers & wipes shower for Ashley.  Ashley is due just two weeks before me!  It was surprise for Ashley & her face when she walked into the restaurant was classic.  It was a really great night out.  The only thing I missed was a big fat margarita. ;)

Saturday REF slept in, which is something that he NEVER does.  He’s been trying to get over a cold that has been hanging on for about 2 weeks now.  He clearly needed the sleep.   After our slow start to the morning, we ran a few errands.  One of those errands was to The Container Store.  A few weeks ago we had the folks at the Container Store sketch out a closet design for the baby’s room & Saturday we pulled the trigger.  It will look something like this:

elfaGirlsCloset_xl

 

It is being installed on Wednesday & I could not be happier.  REF & I were laughing that our lives have become so dull that we are excited about a closet system (one that isn’t even for us), but this is where life has taken us.

Later that evening we decided to go see Silver Linings Playbook.  Something I’m not sure I’ve shared on here yet is that REF & I love to go to the movies.  It’s always been a fun date night for us.  I realize we don’t have many of these spontaneous movie nights left so even though we were both tired we stood in line for the movie.

Silver-Linings-Playbook-poster

 

 

If you haven’t seen this movie, do.  I absolutely loved it.  I know I’m emotional because of pregnancy hormones, but I was laughing & crying during this whole thing.  I don’t normally like Bradley Cooper, but he was amazing.  Jennifer Lawrence was perfect.  Robert De Niro & Jacki Weaver played their roles spot on.  Take the time to see this one in theater if you can.

After the movie we decided to get a bite to eat at the Mellow Mushroom across from the theater.  We never go eat out late anymore (9:30), but again…we’re trying to soak it all in.  We were pleasantly surprised that they had live music & it ended up being a really nice evening out.

Sunday morning, we did early church, breakfast, and napped.  After our naps we hung some new blinds in the baby’s room, our bedroom/bathroom.  I then decided that I needed to wash/iron our curtains and both of the bathroom shower curtains.  I guess we can attribute that to “nesting”, but who really knows.  I’m pleased with the new blinds in our bedroom & I think they look really fresh in the baby’s room, especially with the curtains we got for her.

What did you do this weekend?

 

 

 



{ 4 comments }

I thought I was destined for something else.

by KT on January 15, 2013

I thought we were Destined to be Dinks (Dual Income No Kids)

I think I’ve probably written a post about being Dinks in my head about a 1000 times.  I would lay awake at night wondering how my life had taken such a turn & how what I thought was my purpose in life really wasn’t.   You see it wasn’t as easy as everyone says it is for us to get pregnant.  Many of you reading this probably already know this little tidbit.  I haven’t been terribly private in my real life about the subject, but I also haven’t been outwardly public either.

There is a strange amount of guilt & pain that you feel as a woman when you’re told that your body doesn’t work the way it is designed to work.  It is hard to put into words, but trust me when I say you feel inadequate.   Even the most supportive of spouses, friends, and family members can’t fix these feelings. 

Then there is the infertility rabbit hole that you can fall into quite easily.  You know the one where you spend your days on the internet “researching”.  You can find yourself getting together with other friends who are experiencing similar issues to commiserate exchange stories .  These friendships can be both immensely comforting, but equally toxic.   

For REF & me we both always saw a light at the end of the tunnel, but I think REF saw it brighter than I did.  I didn’t really imagine we’d ever be in the situation that we’re in right now: 8 months pregnant.  I kind of just imagined we’d be the really involved aunt & uncle.  I had somewhat come to terms with that.  I found immense solace in driving up to see my nephew, but I’d get the exact opposite feeling when I’d drive home. 

We had done the counting, the temperature taking, the blood samples, the pill popping, the ultrasounds, and even a really painful surgery.  It had gotten to the point, for me, where I felt like we were putting a lot in & only getting an empty bank account in return.

So, after the surgery in May (one that may or may not produce results), we were told to take a break & wait until the fall of 2012 to try any further medical treatments.  We were advised to let our bodies take a break, heal themselves, etc.  While it seemed on the surface like a really dumb decision to put stuff on “hold” after what seemed like FOREVER and a day of trying I trusted our doctor, REF trusted our doctor, and that’s what we decided to do.

So, what happened?  Well, we got pregnant.  I don’t think it was like that cliché that everyone tells you “once you stop thinking about it, it will just happen”, because I never stopped thinking about it, not for a second. Any couple that has been through this knows that you NEVER stop thinking about it.  I still haven’t.  I just think all of the stars aligned & I think everything just happened to decide to “work” at exactly the same time.  The doctors don’t really have an answer as to why & for now I don’t really care as to ‘why’.

I’ve been thinking a lot about the last 3.5 years recently.  I’ve been trying to figure out what it all meant.  I’ve come to realize that the experience REF & I went through brought us together in a way I hadn’t expected.  It made me look at REF in a different light.  He’s much more optimist than I ever realized.  He never once felt the doubt that I did.  He never let the insecurities get to me to.  Sometimes this bugged me because I just wanted to have a pity party some days, but for the most part it made me love him so much more.

I’ve realized we only have 8 weekends left of just our family of 3 (don’t forget about Winston) & I want to make the most of that time we have together.  I realize our lives are about to change in a way I can’t anticipate & can’t plan for…as much as I’ll try.



{ 5 comments }

4 Years

by KT on July 26, 2012

Four years ago today REF  & I got married.  

It was a whirlwind of a weekend & was gone in the blink of an eye, but man was it fun.  We had SO many of our family members there to celebrate with us & our friends, too.  I remember thinking on Sunday afternoon I couldn’t believe that it was over & we were really husband & wife!

I’m not very good with the sentimental stuff…I actually leave that to REF. 

So, I’ll just say it’s been a wonderful 4 years & I can’t wait to celebrate many, many more.

xoxo

 



{ 5 comments }

Lifesaver

by KT on July 13, 2012

In 2006 R & I had been dating for about 1.5 years when we were invited to a wedding for a friend of R’s.  The friend & his fiance were registered at a lovely gift shop here in Charlotte.  One that I happened to love window shopping in.  So, when R mentioned he wanted me to pick out their wedding gift I jumped at the opportunity.  It was during this particular trip to the gift shop that I was introduced to “possibly the most beautiful tableware in the world”, Juliska.

I knew right then and there that THIS was the place setting that I wanted to have when I got married.  So, a year later when we were engaged I registered for the Berry & Thread pattern in white wash & pistachio.  I also registered for the Graham mouth blown stemware.

I have LOVED these pieces.  I love how simple, but beautiful they are.  I love how since each piece is handmade they are all just a tad bit different.  I love how they aren’t the run of the mill department/mall store brand.  I love that they are easy enough for everyday, but still beautiful to serve on to company.  I also love that two years later my cousin’s future wife (who has immaculate taste) unknowingly chose the same patterns.  I love the family joke that subsequently followed.

What haven’t I loved?

Well….my silverware was leaving unsightly gray markings on all my pretty Juliska.  After changing dish washing detergents, washing by hand, etc. I called Juliska to tell them about the problem.  They said that I could turn all my pieces into the store where they were bought & get new pieces (pretty awesome customer service) or I could try a product called, Bar Keepers Friend. 

Well….fast forward from 2009 to last Saturday when I finally decided to try this stuff out.  You see, I knew it would be a project & I knew I needed a time when I was alone in the house to just ‘deal’ with scrubbing all 12 of our place settings & accessories.  Then I wanted to switch out our everyday silverware with the nicer stuff that my mom got us for our wedding.   I also knew after scrubbing I’d want to run them through the dishwasher.  And…I knew R would HATE this project.  So, while he went out to dinner with a client & then to get drinks with the guys on Saturday I hunkered down & got to work.

Did it work?

YOU BET IT DID!!!  I cannot tell you how happy it made me to see my beautiful plates & bowls again.  I had seriously forgotten how pretty my Juliska really is.   

I know this stuff can be used for a whole host of other things so lovers of Bar Keepers Friend let me hear what you use it for!  I can’t wait to try it in other areas around the house.

Also, if you’re getting married in the future I would HIGHLY recommend  Juliska.  It can be found at specialty stores, high end department stores like, Neimans & Bloomingdales, and online.

 

PS – I wasn’t compensated for this post by either Juliska or Bar Keeper’s Friend…I just LOVE both brands. 

 

 

 



{ 13 comments }

Quirks

by KT on March 20, 2012

Quirks, we all have them.  Some of them are cute, some are annoying, some are noticeable only to our loved ones.   Some may only be noticeable to our coworkers since they are with us sometimes more then our actual loved ones.  Good or bad we all have little ticks, isms, habits, etc.

Before I got married I knew I had some…let’s call them habits.  I’m anal  type A.  I grew up with parents who expected a clean room, clean car, clean house.  I like order & so having all of those spaces in my life clean caused me to have a clear mind.  I remember getting frustrated when my notes in school didn’t look neat or organized.  It caused me a lot of anguish over the years.  You can stop laughing now.  

When I went to college I was probably the worst roommate known to man, because I just thought everyone made their bed daily or at least before they got in them to go to bed.  Or perhaps when guests came to your dorm room you’d want it to look neat & tidy.  Imagine my horror to find out this was not the case.  Living on the sorority hall didn’t make things any easier.  Just because someone is in a sorority does not a neat freak make.   Senior year when a group of us moved into an apartment off campus I was constantly running the dishwasher, wiping down the counters, vacuuming the carpet.  I may or may not have been difficult to live with that year.

As an “adult” with an adult condo & and an adult job I calmed down a little bit, but not too much.  Luckily, I had the pleasure of living with a former college roommate who was always sweet enough to overlook my quirks.  Both of us traveled extensively for work & so when we got home if common areas were clean that was all that mattered.  

On my first official date with REF his car & swanky uptown town home were immaculate.  I so relieved to have met someone who shared my crazy  thoughts on cleanliness.  It wasn’t until we had been dating for several months that I realized this initial car/home cleanliness was a rouse to impress me.  Obviously, it worked.

REF & I spent a lot of time together before we got married, but we didn’t live together.  Once we were married & I moved into REF’s home he tried really hard to make it feel like our home.  He didn’t want me to feel like a guest.  After a few months of living together each other’s QUIRKS came more present.  

We often say that REF is the king of wounded soldiers. I think this is some frat boy saying for when  you open a beer & don’t finish it , but in our house it just means that at any point in time he has 238,789,526 cups, glasses or mugs with water, lemonade, coffee, etc. in them.   I also realized that I had some BAD HABITS quirks of my own.  I’ve never been a fan of wearing shoes.  I like them & think they are pretty, but I want to take them off the second I get in the house.  This means that at any given moment I have 236 pairs of shoes throughout the house.  I also have had  a bad habit of putting dry cleaning only clothes in the regular laundry basket.  While I sorted my laundry, REF did not The first time I said goodbye to my beloved winter white wool skirt… Lesson Learned.

Over our 3 and 3 quarters years of marriage we’ve both learned to help our marriage by watching out for these quirks.  REF’s really awesome at making the bed the correct way  way I like it & I’ve learned to relax about some things.  I had to understand that the world wasn’t going to end if we didn’t clean up before bed after a party or if REF needed 3,589 cups next to bed that was okay.   I also driven in REF’s car in over a year.  It’s all about balance & compromise.  It’s also another reason why I’m mowing the lawn.  We both understand that I would want it done a particular way & to avoid an unnecessary fight I should just do it myself.  ;)

Do you have an quirks?  Have they changed over the years?   

 

 



{ 3 comments }

A Little PSA from Fire Marshall Bill…

by KT on March 1, 2012

Every home should have one of these.  This sounds like common sense, right?  Well, my happy home doesn’t have one of these bad boys.  

Last night REF & I were in the kitchen prepping dinner.  REF had just turned on the grill to get it ready to grill two chicken breasts.   All of a sudden we heard a loud BOOM from the deck.  REF looked at me then ran outside.  He came back in asking for our fire extinguisher.  I told him we didn’t have one and handed him a drink pitcher full of water.  

Not thinking it was anything big I walked outside to take a look.  What I saw was a MASSIVE grease fire.  The entire grease tray was ablaze & the propane take was engulfed.  Not thinking clearly REF grabbed the hose and started to spray the flames.  It was about this time that I came to my senses & realized it was a grease fire & I shouted: “It’s a grease fire!  The water is just making it angry! Call the fire department!”.  

REF ran around the house looking for his cell phone.  In the meantime the propane hose melted & disconnected from the grill.  This caused the fire to go down enough that I could pull the tank out from below the grill using an oven mit.  REF ran outside still unable to located the phone.  For a second or two we just starred at the fire.  I finally ran inside & grabbed an old rug trying to smother the fire.  This worked enough to allow REF to turn the propane tank off.  

Once the tank was turned off that fire stopped.  We then focused our attention to the grill.  There was fire spraying out of it.  We stamped out the embers that were falling onto the deck & finally smothered the fire enough that it died down.

In the light of day it is kind of funny, but at the time it was terrifying.  We both thought that the propane tank would explode.  I had visions of our house burning down to the foundation.  We couldn’t see in the dark last night if the deck was ruined from the embers, but it looked like everything was okay this morning.

The moral of the story?  

First, keep a fire extinguisher in your house.  Seriously, I still can’t believe we didn’t have one.   It is on my chore list for the weekend to buy one.  Second, to put out a grease fire you can smother it, but if it is as big as ours was you’ll need the aid of BAKING SODA!  If only I could have remembered that from chemistry class.  Finally, keep your grill clean.  Clean out the grease tray periodically.  Do the same for the oven.  Can you guess what else is on the chore list for this weekend?

 



{ 8 comments }

Dreams

by KT on January 9, 2012

When REF and I were first dating I had just turned 23 and he was 26.  It was pre-recession.  It was pre-marriage, mortgage and money market accounts.  We were babies when I really think about it.  We would sit on the rooftop deck of REF’s hip Uptown condo and talk about our dreams.  

   We still talk about most of these dreams.  A lot of them are silly, like how every time we pass an all you can eat Chinese buffet the parking lot is packed (no matter the time of day) and we always say that owning one is going to be our “cash cow”.  HA!  A lot of them are personal pipe dreams like how I would love to manage a stationery shop or own a wagoneer to drive to and from the grocery store (I’m serious about this one).  

In 2011 we talked a lot about making our dreams a reality.  We did some major home improvements, we tightened our budgets, REF took on more consulting jobs to bring in extra $$ to put toward some of these dreams.   I’ve mentioned it before, but we have high hopes for 2012 and while I know that we won’t be buying a Chinese buffet or a wagoneer I’m excited about what this year has in store for us.

 

 

 



{ 2 comments }

Christmas Decorations

by KT on December 13, 2011

When I first married REF our Christmas decorations were in my standard cute and sufficient, but REF grew up in a household where his family went “all out” for the holiday.  He still talks about how our first Christmas decorations were a bit sparse.  Looking back, they really were pretty pitiful.  Our tree was quite the “Charlie Brown” tree.

Since that first Christmas I’ve been snatching up decorations when I saw them on sale.  I’ve also started decorating earlier in the year so that I wouldn’t be too overwhelmed the responsibilities of decorating.  

I’m actually quite proud of our exterior illuminations which I did all by myself a little bit wine drunk at 10pm on Thanksgiving.  Don’t judge…I wanted to be able to relax on Friday.

If you remember from this post I talked about our village.   My in laws have had the tradition of setting up these villages for years.  While they are new to me  I think they do help you get in the Christmas spirit.  This was the first year that I set up the lights inside of the houses.  While I didn’t do THE BEST job, I can admit that I’m “into it” now. 

 

Please ignore both my bad photography & the crooked tablecloth.  I’ve fixed the tablecloth, but I can’t figure out how to take pictures in the dark.  Anyone have tips for this?

Now, with my new love of these Christmas villages I can promise that my love will never grow so large that my collection is as large as my father in law’s village.

Yes, that is a two tiered working train that goes through the village.  It stresses me out just looking at it.

Finally, I’ll leave you with a picture of our Christmas tree.  I hate being wrong and even more I hate admitting when I’m wrong, but I have to admit that I should have listened to REF when he told me to wait to string the lights on the tree.  I didn’t wait & I did it wrong.  I don’t really want to get into it too much, but REF was kind enough to just laugh at me & to un-string and then re-string all the lights while I was shopping with Rachel & Erin.  I’ve got a good man on my hand folks.

Our tree isn’t the fanciest tree, but I like the hodge podge look of our tree.  The tree skirt was made by my dad’s mother and I think I will always use it, because it makes me think of her every year when I pull it out of the attic.  

Merry Christmas, y’all!

 

 

 

 



{ 4 comments }

Scenes from Marriage

by KT on December 10, 2011

Funny Guy…

REF: Social Media and texting have crippled the writing ability of the generation behind us.

ME: ::

REF: By the way, if I ever write you on skype and say TTYL that means talk to you later.

ME: ::

 



{ 0 comments }

You are the Dancing Queen, young and sweet only 17

by KT on December 5, 2011

Back in November REF and I made our way up to Concord after work to celebrate REF’s cousin’s 17th birthday.  Remember 17?  I remember my girlfriend, Jennifer, said she danced to Abba’s Dancing Queen the whole day for her 17th birthday.  I always sing Abba when girls tell me they are 17!

The birthday girl had everyone over to her dad and stepmom’s house for dinner.  It was a really relaxing evening.

The birthday girl is holding her new hiking boots.  She is getting ready to go to Peru for a semester “abroad” program.  She’ll be doing mission work and taking high school classes.  Her birthday presents were mostly “gear” for her trip.  I’m so proud of her and equally envious.  She’ll be visiting two of my bucket list locations: Machu Picchu & Galapogos Islands.

This is REF’s grandmother.  We call her Goggie.  She’s seriously one of the cutest, sweetest ladies I know.  She still lives on her own and is just as sharp as she was 20 years ago.  I truly love this lady.

Finally this is REF’s mom.  I thought this was a good picture so I wanted to include it! 

 

 

 



{ 0 comments }

← Previous Entries